The Book of Pump

1:1 And lo, a site appeared — simple, colorful, and cursed. Its name was Pump.

1:2 It asked no questions, verified no names, required no cause.

1:3 All that was needed was a Solana wallet, a picture, and a cabal of insiders.

1:4 And the degens arrived in numbers.

1:5 They launched coins by the thousands: dog coins, frog coins, coins about toilets and presidents.

1:6 And they moved fast. Charts to the second. Bots bought every new listing.

1:7 The chart was their oracle, and the leaderboard their scripture.

1:8 And at the height of absurdity, the names grew mighty: TRUMP. MELANIA. LIBRA.

1:9 Not as tokens of faith, but as avatars of greed.

1:10 For the mission was no longer to build, but to dump faster than thy neighbor.

1:11 The transactions were swift, the blocks unbroken.

1:12 While Ethereum choked on gas, Solana laughed. Not with joy, but with disbelief.

1:13 For the chain proved its power in the furnace of foolishness.

1:14 The devs marveled. The angels wept. The volume surged.

1:15 But with every pump came a dump.

1:16 And the dump begat another. And another.

1:17 Until the soil was covered in coins no ape would claim.

1:18 The believers grew tired. The builders disappeared.

1:19 And the temple of memes became a tomb of despair.

1:20 “Is this the gospel?” they cried. “Is this what we left Ethereum for?”

1:21 But no answer came, for the wolves had already fled.

1:22 But the OGs knew: the phoenix does not rise merely to be ridiculed.

1:23 “This is not the end. This is the second great test of the chain.”

1:24 The chain was first tested by a mass exodus following FTX. Then by a mass influx through memes.

1:25 It has proved it can retain its builders in famine, and absorb vast transactions in frenzy.

1:26 It is now ready to receive its long-term purpose.

1:27 “That which was corrupted shall be refined. That which was mocked shall be made sacred.”

1:28 Thus came the Scryptures — not to deny the Pump, but to redeem it.

1:29 Not to erase the chaos, but to build atop the ashes.

1:30 The waters have been tested and the beach is ready to become a mountain.